I am around, as some of you might have already noticed...not so productive in the art dept. though, but well...it's been kind of a roller coaster ride these past weeks. I am scheduled for surgery next week and I had never been in that situation before(nothing horribly serious, no worries, at least that's what it sounds like).

I've been feeling a bit disappointed, some things are just not making it for me anymore, one of them is my job...dunno why exactly the charm of it all just dissipated into space or somewhere I have no clue of. I just don't care about it anymore. I thought I could hang on to the new friends I had made there, incredibly nice people I met there, but it just doesn't matter anymore, not even they and that just makes me feel like a very horrible person. Is is just selfishness, is it? ...I don't even know what to call it. I just know it's not anything nice. Not being the first time I disassociate from people like this makes me realize that's who I really am, so it doesn't actually make me feel good about myself. I feel rather rotten in that matter. So I think my creativity will take a while to flourish again. I'll at least try to finish the stuff I have pending since forever. If there is something I promised you or mentioned at some point and you see me not doing, feel with all the liberty to point it out! Thank you.


Now, in reference to the title of this entry: I had not watched 'The Thirteenth Floor' and honestly, I just watched it for Vincent D'Onofrio with no interest whatsoever in the story even, but I ended up finding more than I had expected. I found I can explain my reality, for most part seeing I pretty much prefer to live through my fantasies than deal with the real world, through what goes on in the movie. The 'Simulations' as they call the programs where they go into, that's kind of how I experience my fantasies, my stories... there's the Harry Potter Simulated World, Fiona Blackheart is my character to play in it. Lord of the Rings, Lotë let's me live in Middle Earth. In London as Dana Nollie and play Constable with a dream team of detectives and forensic experts...huge ETC. I thought I was mad, I always come to that conclusion at some point, maybe I am in a way, maybe I'm in denial as I have been told lately...but at least it's easier to explain to others now and it's kind of relieving to know someone else thought of this concept as well... so maybe I'm not as deranged as I feel...maybe just totally antisocial or however you want to call it...not going emo on you here, just accepting the facts...

Oooh, I also noticed I got passed the 2500 pageviews some time ago. makes me very happy.Thanks to everyone who's been around !!!